The Tale of Prince Buttercup


Prince Buttercup was a prince, and desperately wanted his whole kingdom to be a happy land. For instance, staying on the Grim-Gothic Hill and answering questions and making decisions didn't make Prince Buttercup particularly happy himself, so he spent as much time as he could travelling about the kingdom.

As the prince, there was much to do - photobombing his subjects, attending rainbow flag day parades, smelling the flowers, and letting his people see his socks. However, there was some criticism about the new dance steps he had learned in Elephant Land, so he stopped doing those... in public

Prince Buttercup believed that the magic of diversity would make all his people happy forever and told them as much endlessly. Being a happy and handsome prince (and somewhat vain, if the truth be told), many of his people didn't like to see Prince Buttercup get upset, so they smiled and clapped, and nodded their heads.

However, the magic of diversity wasn't working anymore. The people of the kingdom found that not everyone believed in diversity, and some of them had their own beliefs... like Jihad. Prince Buttercup didn't like to hear the Jihad word and pretended it did not exist, so he would put his fingers in his ears and repeat 'diversity' instead.

Many of the citizens tried to warn Prince Buttercup about the failure of diversity, and that some of the newcomers who came to the kingdom weren't full of good intentions and happiness. Some of these newcomers didn't come to the gates of the kingdom and ask for permission to be let in, or come to the emergency door and say "please let me in, somebody is trying to kill me!" That usually worked too.

Instead, some of these newcomers told fibs and expected us to believe them. This made many of the citizens very unhappy, because this land was built by following the rules and not by fibbing. Prince Buttercup was very still very happy.... "Fibbers and Jihadis will add to our diversity, and that is wonderful!"

Prince Buttercup was also happy spending treasure that the people had paid in taxes. They didn't like paying taxes because they worked hard, but it was good to have big chests of gold and silver in case they were needed. Prince Buttercup thought there was always more gold and silver where it came from, and merrily threw money around.

Then there was the day, a very sad day, where Prince Buttercup met a wicked witch in one of the eastern parts of the kingdom. The wicked witch tried to tell Prince Buttercup that those who believed in Jihad and the fibbers were bad for the happiness of the kingdom. Up to that point, Prince Buttercup was happy that day telling people how wonderful diversity was, and was even preparing to let them see his socks...he definitely did not need to hear what the wicked witch was saying.

"Boo! Hiss! You wicked, wicked witch! You don't believe in diversity, and that makes you a 'racist'!" In the prince's mind there was no worse crime in the entire kingdom! Fortunately, Prince Buttercup's own guards were there, and they were able to drag the wicked witch away, because nobody needs to hear a racist!

Wasn't that wonderful? Ever so many of the subjects of the kingdom were so happy because Prince Buttercup was so brave!

Other subjects of the kingdom were not so happy. They too wondered about the Jihadis and the Fibbers, and the way the gold and silver was being thrown away; and now they wonder about the loyalty of the Prince's own guards - who are supposed to even look after the rights of witches too. That includes the right not to be arbitrarily arrested for no reason.

Many of the people of the Kingdom are now thinking it is time for a new Prince, and they may be right.